I was a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) for 16 years. During that time, I did volunteer work, and took part-time jobs just for fun. I was completely blindsided when my Ex abruptly announced he was leaving, packed his clothes and moved out the next morning. I had to reinvent myself, and can honestly say I am now happier than I have ever been in my life.
As a Post-Divorce Rediscovery Coach, I am doing work that nourishes my soul. If he hadn’t left I doubt I ever would have discovered my calling in life… and this was at the age of 53. Sure, for the six months following his departure I felt crushed by the weight of it. But then a light slowly began to shine within me. This light was deep inside the shell of myself that was cracking wide open. It allowed old outdated ideas and definitions of myself to break off and fall away, like crumbling embers. What remained was a purified version of myself that I hadn’t known for many years.
The process of shedding all the remnants of my prior self was excruciatingly painful. It felt like it would never end, and I would never be whole again. I didn’t think I could endure it, but I did. I did, because what other choice did I have? I did, because I remembered something important; as I stripped away all those crusty layers of who I was, I realized what remained was me. Just me.
This was the gift. I was no longer bound by the constraints of who I had become through the course of my marriage. Just as he had freed himself by leaving, he had also freed me. It was a gift I hadn’t asked for or wanted at the time. But, there was no returning it, so I focused on exchanging it for the opportunity to find myself.
I spent the next year rediscovering who I am and what truly makes ME happy. I love the fact that I have only to consult with myself when making decisions, and I don’t have to compromise on what it is I really want. It’s funny… when I’m thinking about doing something big (like remodel my kitchen, or adopt a dog), I still hear this little voice in my head asking for permission… but then I realize I DON’T NEED ANYBODY’S PERMISSION to make changes in my life, and that is a true source of happiness!
So, ask yourself what it is you want. Start small if you need to. Decide to do something new or different, and just go for it!! With each decision you make, you will be rediscovering who you are and what you want in your life. Your independence is your gift. Cherish it.
Love and Light,